My Golden Retriever
by AllyGarcia
Summary: The HELL? Why is Nodame suddenly ignoring him? Chiaki won't have it! She's supposed to adore and worship him, dammit!


**NODAME CANTABILE**

**My Goden Retriever **

**Genre: Humor/Romance**

**Pairing:Chiaki/Megumi**

**Fandom:Nodame Cantabile**

**Word Count: 4709**

**Warnings: Certain words, certain situations. If you are fourteen and above, no probs. _Read_, people.**

* * *

><p>His eyebrow twitched.<p>

"And Kiki-sempai said how nice it was and called all the other girls over and they too congratulated me on getting this scarf-"

_She was doing it again.  
><em>

"-after I told them how much trouble I had to go to cause yesterday I was running late from class and it was raining and I lost my way while going to the shop and-"

_Stop. Stop, stop, and stop. Please. Can't bear anymore.  
><em>

He threw his arm across his face, not moving where he was sitting back in his chair, legs splayed and head tipped back, utterly exhausted. His coat was somewhere on the floor on the way to his seat and his tie was hanging loose over the untucked shirt. He hoped it would give her the message that he was not feeling particularly welcoming right now. Another bad practice had fouled up his mood and her annoying, grating, fawning, stupidly irritating voice-

"-And Mitsuki said how strange it was that the desks had ended up that way as if someone had come in the night and placed them that way! Gyaabo! Just think! A midnight intruder! And everyone immediately went to check all the closets and practice rooms but it was silly as he probably wouldn't be there now, if it even was a he, and if someone had really come-"

_For God's sake. Didn't the woman know the meaning of the word quiet? Or even peace, solitude, serenity, or tranquility? _What gave her the right to barge in on him like this and ruin a wonderful atmosphere of languor? _What?  
><em>

He had had enough. He couldn't take anymore. What man _could_?

His fists slammed down on the tiny table, threatening to leave cracks. "Nodame. Cease this babbling. Now."

"But aw," She pouted in annoyance. "Chiaki doesn't want to hear about my day?" The irritating girl was currently spread out on his couch, looking as if she damn owned the thing. He scowled. She was taking him to his breaking point and doing so all the while as if she didn't know-

He massaged his forehead, certain that the blooming head-ache was all her fault. _Why do I even put up with you…?  
><em>

"No," he drawled, controlling the urge to chuck his pen at her smiling energetic face. He was tired and felt like crap to boot, dammit. He did not need her exuberance to add any more to his current depression. Stopping himself from saying anymore because he still had some morals, he added harshly, "I'm tired Nodame. Please, go home now."

Her face had been dropping but it suddenly lit up like a light bulb. "Chiaki! We haven't had dinner yet!"

"I'm not in a mood to cook."

"Leftovers?" Her face shone the way it did when ever food was mentioned and his in particular. "Shall I check the fridge?"

No! He wanted to moan in frustration. Bad day, bad practice and he comes home to his soft inviting bed and she's denying him his sleep? Chiaki took one look at her face and sighed. He grumbled something inarticulate and gave in. If he didn't feed her, probably no one would. She was like a wild untamed dog. Even now she was panting like one at the thought of food. How gross.

"Fine," he conceded. "I'll whip you up something. Don't you dare touch anything while I'm gone." Saying so, he dragged himself up and slouched to the kitchen, still mumbling about badly brought up retrievers. She came when ever she wanted, got whatever she wanted and then disappeared to God knows where. He still didn't know how she managed to get under his skin like no other. He sometimes felt like he was doing a service to humanity by doing what he could to take care of her.

Make sure the human retriever does not wander off. Make sure it eats, sleeps, and cleans its apartment. Make sure it doesn't bite anyone or try anything stupid.

A crash from the living room had him wincing, but he shrugged and continued putting all the left-over rice and slightly congealed curry into a bowl. It wasn't like he owned anything that precious anyway. Two minutes in the microwave should do. He'd have her replace whatever it was though. He wasn't _that_ soft.

"Chiiaaaki!" She called from the other side of the door. "I hope you weren't too fond of an ugly ballerina statUe that was on your bookcase. I err, got rid of it for you!"

He stilled.

That had been given to him by his mother.

Breathing in deeply, he picked up the bowl, having the urge to pick her up instead and stuff her in the microwave and laugh madly while he turned it all the way up. How would she like it if he took a baseball bat to her precious piano? Growling incoherently, he slammed the microwave open, thrust in the sorry bowl and jammed the door closed. Ripping off his apron and raking a hand through his already untamed hair, he stormed back out, eyes glittering dangerously.

"Nodame."

She squeaked, the happy expression she had been practicing sliding right off her face. He noticed her attempts at hiding the broken figurine under one of the cushions but choose not to say anything. If he did, he wouldn't stop there and he so didn't need this now.

"Um…yes?"

He pointed toward the table. "Sit."

"Bu-"

"Sit." His tone brooked no arguments.

On her way to sit, she tripped over his coat and fell, smacking face-first into the ground.

His brow rose. She muttered an embarrassed apology and picked herself up, dusting herself off. Nodame demurely sat herself in the chair, looking as angelic as she could, which was still a miserably single digit percentage. Chiaki was at his wit's end. Was there nothing she could do without turning it into a major disaster?

"Now," he said darkly, leaning over her. "A few rules. Break anything, you pay. Ruin anything, you repair. Move from here, and I'll take you over my knee like a five year old and spank you so hard you won't walk for a week. "

Her eyes went as wide as they could. She ran a hand along the table, stretching away. "No?" She asked innocently. Chiaki's eyes narrowed.

He crossed his arms across his chest. "No," he repeated firmly daring her to contradict him.

The beeping off the microwave broke the awkward silence that followed.

He warned her with his eyes to stay in place, and then strode back to the kitchen. The food looked tempting now, the curry having warmed up and drizzled invitingly into the soft steamy rice. He smirked and ladled it all into a plate. No one could say he did a job half-hearted. Wiping his hands on a kitchen towel, Chiaki stomped back out of the room, plate in hand.

Nodame was nowhere to be found.

He cursed using all the words he knew and then some more.

Settling the food down, he called out in a no nonsense tone, "Nodame, where are you!" God he hoped she wasn't planning on breaking any more of his stuff.

He heard muffled giggling coming from behind his bedroom door.

His closed bedroom door.

This did not bode well.

He muttered something particularly black. If he caught her sniffing his sheets again-

"Nodame," he yelled as he barged in, fully angered. "You come in here like you own the place, when I'm tired and all I want to do is sleep, and demand food and-"

His jaw dropped open.

"Say, isn't sempai gonna spank me now?"

Chiaki whirled around, red in the face, and damn near dragged his pride though the mud by running out. Slamming the door shut, he leaned against it. Breathe in. Breathe out. Just breathe. Nodame's not a woman. She is a human retriever. She does not do anything for your libido. Nor does her wearing of your shirt. _Breathe._

"No-Nodame." He hated it but his voice cracked. If he threw her out now, she'd deserve it, the little minx. Just when the hell had Nodame started affecting him this way anyway?

"Ye-es?" There was unholy glee in her voice. She'd struck a spot and by God she knew it. Chiaki gulped. "I'm giving you three minutes to get out of that ridiculous get-up," he said mildly. "Then you are going to sit down, eat your food and go to bed, like a good little ret- uh girl." He couldn't take it anymore. Really. Just what was a guy to do in these situations?

"And if I don't!" He really, really hated the happy note in her voice.

"If you don't I'll never cook for you again."

"Gyaabooh!" There was a scream and then Chiaki was flung forward, meeting the floor the same way Nodame had earlier. He heard the sharp intake of breath from Nodame when she realized what she'd caused and toyed with the idea of pretending to be further infuriated with her. But it just wasn't worth it. He was too tired. All he wanted to do was sleep. _Why couldn't God just leave me be?  
><em>

Folding his arms, Chiaki lay his head down on them.

"Uh, sempai…"

"Not now, Nodame." He was not going to look at her. This served a double purpose. Retriever. Retriever. Retriever.

"Bu-"

"Eat your food. Then go. Please." He heard the rustle of clothes as she stepped around his fallen form and chanced a quick look to see that she was back in her undesirable purple jogging suit thing. He exhaled in relief.

Maybe God was real after all.

He never wanted to see what he had again. Never. For his peace of mind.

* * *

><p><strong>The Morning After <strong>

When Chiaki woke up the next morning, he was as sore as he believed it was possible to get. Dried sticky lashes- as he didn't wash his face yesterday night; cracked gluey lips- didn't drink water; m.o like you wouldn't believe; a crick in his neck, aches and pains everywhere- figured if you slept on the floor, and cold all over as frozen hell.

But he wasn't counting all his curses. Oh no. The apartment was absolutely 100 percent Nodame free. And for that he'd bear his situation a hundred times over. Groaning as he groggily propped himself up, he reflected sourly that she could have at least had the courtesy to cover him with a blanket or something. Or maybe even lift him onto the couch with her freakish strength! Chiaki stayed particularly well away from mentioning his bedroom as he didn't want a certain memory to come back right then.

Looking at the clock, Chiaki cursed. Twenty minutes.

Half an hour later, he was well on his way.

He didn't really like Mine but he thanked his lucky stars when the guy offered him a lift. There was something to people hounding you after all, even when you ignored them. Kind of like Nodame.

His black mood descended._ Why did everything lead back to her anyway?_

As if he really had interest in her. Other than her brilliant piano playing which admittedly lacked proper training, she was a slouch, slovenly, totally uncultured and lived like an ape. Nope, he definitely did not like her in any other way.

So… in what way then did he like her, asked his treacherous mind.

A vivid multicolor image of the previous night rose up in his brain.

No! He fought for his composure, ignoring the multitude of girls going gaga over him as he made his way to the building. I will not think about that. She is a retriever for God's sake. I'm like her handler. I'm definitely not anything like her-

"Hey!" Yelled a loud enthusiastic voice.

_Speak of the bloody devil.  
><em>

He increased the length of his strides, hoping she wouldn't catch up.

But the fates were against him. He sighed as a sleeve brushed his arm, getting ready with a snappy set down to whatever she had to say. _Why do you make this so hard on yourself?  
><em>

But to his utter amazement, Nodame simply brushed passed him after giving him an expressionless glance and ran toward a gaggle of girls entering the building before him, falling into step with them and chattering excitedly.

He though he actually stopped moving for a second. His brain felt oddly disconnected as if a million questions weren't racing though it. What? Why had she done that? How could she ignore him like that? A thought rose to his brain. Was she sick? What had happened to his ret- Nodame?

He couldn't fathom why in the seven hells she hadn't clung onto him like she did every morning. Were his continuous rejections finally getting through to her? Was Nodame finally seeing the light? Impossible.

"I should be… feeling _glad_. " He muttered under his breath.

"…but you don't."

Chiaki looked around but saw no one. Curious. He decided to vent anyway.

"Why? Why don't I feel relief? She finally stopped hounding me! I should be over the moon!" Chiaki exclaimed softly. Why did he feel like he'd just been rejected? He'd gotten so used to that annoying girl and her annoying ways. Maybe that was it. It had always been Chiaki this and Chiaki that, that he'd never really bothered to look beyond it. It had been reassuring in a way, always having her as an enduring phase in his life. And she'd just ignored him!

No, maybe she hadn't seen him. But there'd been a fleeting moment when she'd looked up, her gaze skimming over and past his face. Or maybe he was reading too much into things. But gods damn it, she had no right to _not_ fall over him and not try to clutch onto him! He'd cooked for her, and taken care of her and he was not going to stand for this! impudent behavior! Where was the gratitude?

"How the fuck should I know? You should ask yourself that." The mysterious voice answered rudely.

"Damn it. I don't know why! And who are you again? My conscience?"

"Again, how the fuck am I to know?"

"And how come I can hear you? Are you God?" His voice sounded incredulous to his own ears. No way had some invisible person just started talking to him and rightly guessing what he felt. But he didn't think Gods cursed. Unless they had their own version of Nodame jumping all over them.

"Don't accuse me that way."

"Er… what?"

"Dammit! Fucking understand! For the last time, I don't know! Solve your problems yourself!"

"…Ok." Chiaki was seriously creeped out now.

"Listen Michi, there's a guy answering whatever I say to you. I gotta go." A man came from the other side of the building, flipped him off and strode away without looking back at Chiaki.

There was no need to say Chiaki felt absolutely stupid after that.

But it still didn't solve his dilemma. It was still eating at him. It was past lunch and Nodame still hadn't turned up, coercing him to eat lunch with her or just being her usual noisy self. Even her dubious blackmail would have been welcome at this point.

He missed it.

Just the way one would miss their dog's affectionate prancing.

Affectionate?

_Yea…_

_Nodame was that._

He sighed, breaking his chopsticks in two.

He'd decided.

He would go over to her place after class and ask her what was wrong. Something really big was up. He had no doubts on that. But he was apprehensive about it anyway.

That particular memory came up again and Chiaki cursed everything in the damn world as his chopsticks splintered. She affected _everything_ in his damn world, didn't she?

* * *

><p><strong>Three Days Later<strong>

Three days. Three days and no sign of Nodame. Sure, he caught sight of her in the halls occasionally but it was like they were strangers now. She'd never acknowledge him and always slip by without confronting him. She'd not been home either much, reaching home after he'd either gone to sleep or gone out. He could hear her padding around noisily though the walls but resisted the urge to go to her.

His pride demanded he stay quiet. But he still couldn't sleep. He kept imagining scenarios for why she'd stopped seeing him. Literally. Had she replaced him? Was someone else her object of constant irritation now? Had Nodame finally found someone who liked her and decided it was better than Chiaki's constant rejections? He shivered at the cold mindset that gripped him whenever he thought about that. Sometimes he wanted to murder her, sometimes this unnamed guy he saw in his dreams pawing at her. Chiaki resolutely refused to think about why it angered him so much.

He stood in front of her door way and debated knocking. He didn't want to come off as some stalker, though how he could be seen as one and why he even thought of it he had no idea, and he also didn't want to seem like he was making too much of things. Nodame might read more into it. He could just imagine where that would lead. Right? Haha.

His overwhelming need to know why overcame him in the end and he knocked finally. She didn't answer. He pressed the bell. Still no answer.

Was she out?

Was she out with some guy?

Was she out _necking_ with some unnamed featureless guy?

His knuckles turned white in his death grip on the door-knob. A roaring filled his ears. The blood pounded in his head. _Mine_. The thought slipped in from nowhere and curled insidiously around his brain. _No one else's. I'll break his skinny little neck whoever he is.  
><em>

The thought of Nodame's cheerful face smiling for someone other than him made his blood boil. He'd been a fool not to see it earlier. He understood_ now.  
><em>

"Ah.. ano.. Chiaki-sempai," a soft horrified whisper reached his ears.

He turned dazedly, the blood still roaring in his ears and spotted Nodame standing just off to the side. He was stunned. Her hair looked like she'd gone to a salon and got it done, it fell silkily over her neck and ears. Her face was made up, lips glossed just so and mascara hinting at the depths to her eyes. She looked delicious enough to eat. She was blushing guiltily and had dropped a couple of shopping bags when she'd seen him. He fixated onto that, reading the labels being unable to look at her and felt his thoughts go murderous.

"Inside. Now." He pointed at her door trying not to choke with anger. She fumbled in the bag then handed him a key. He motioned her to go in ahead of him so she couldn't run away again. He wasn't dumb.

Thankfully she didn't argue with him. If she had he might have just thrown her over his shoulder and dragged her kicking and screaming to his own apartment, which by the way, he congratulated himself as to being situated right next to hers_. No one would ever know…  
><em>

He picked up her bags and strode in after her, making sure to lock the door and pocket the key. She was sitting at her table, looking down. There was trash everywhere. Half-eaten pizza, dirty laundry, empty soda cans. And her glorious piano sat in the middle of all the squalor, lying untouched and shiny. He felt the corner of his mouth tilt at that. She was a slave to the music, just as he was.

He dropped the bags onto the table and leaned his butt against it, crossing his arms forebodingly. "Explain."

She stuttered and tried hacking and plain chattering to distract him but he wouldn't have any of it.

"Now. The truth. And Nodame? You will also be as accommodating as to explain why you've been ignoring me."

She looked up, surprised at that. "Chiaki-sempai noticed? Chiaki-sempai minded?"

There might nor might not have been a pink tint to his cheeks. He thanked God she hadn't switched on the lights when they came in and the only light now was one from the evening sun streaming in through the windows and haphazardly around the tilting mountains of clothes and plates. "I was concerned. You didn't show up at lunch either. It's been three days."

She smiled at that. "Yay! Chiaki-sempai noticed Nodame's absence!" She went off in her own world, stars dancing in her eyes and mouth open just a bit. Chiaki sighed. Now that he had evidence that she was still infatuated with him, his mind was better at rest. Though. Now that he'd decided, there was still one more thing to be explained. Two more, rather.

"Well then. Tell me why."

She stopped. Hesitated. Looked everywhere but at him.

"No-nodame," she muttered finally, "had a plan." Her fingers twisted in her lap.

"A plan?" He was intrigued. He just had to know how her plan could involve ignoring him.

"Yes," she flushed. "Misaki-sempai told Nodame it would work! But she's not sure it did."

Chiaki mentally swore to blacklist this particular woman. First the damn scarf and now this. Nodame had near strangled him with that scarf right after she bought it. And it was that woman's whole influence that had made Nodame want to buy it too.

"So what was your plan?" he asked, picking up one of the bags and dangling it in front of her. "And how exactly did it involve this?" He was getting a very good idea now of what this plan entailed, but he wanted to draw out this experience a bit more. Make Nodame squirm a bit. It was only acceptable after what she'd made him go through. When his brain scoffed at being annoyed for just being bypassed by a girl for three days and called him a pathetic shmuck, he told it to shut it. And then proceeded to lean down till he was in said girl's face. "Well?' he drawled as Nodame went amazingly cross-eyed trying to keep him in her sight.

"Ah...um," she stuttered nervously . "Not sure if it'll work after I tell you."

He shook his head. "Stupid retriever," he murmured smiling down at her.

He face registered confusion. "What?" She tilted her head, looking at him with shifty eyes. "You want Nodame to retrieve something?" Her mouth was a pout by now, and he had the sudden urge to-

"No!" He exclaimed aloud, involuntarily, startling both her and him.

"Okay then, " Nodame said. "Shall I go get dinner?" She asked him hopefully, dying to escape.

He smiled at that. "No," he said grimly. "You're going to sit right there and tell me exactly what is going on. Understand? Or no more nightly visits to my apartment."

He paled at the way the phrasing had gone. Luckily Nodame was much too dense to understand.

"Well," she sighed. "Nodame seems to have no choice. Misaki-sempai said this was the only sure-fire way of seducing you."

His world stopped. Mouth dropped open. "Seducing me?" He repeated.

"Yep!" Nodame nodded happily. "Since that night wasn't enough, Misaki-sempai also told Nodame another way to-"

_Seducing me? _

He couldn't stand it. He started laughing like someone had tear-gassed the room. H is shoulders shook as he laughed like a crazy man and he had to cover his face for an entire minute. _Seducing me! Oh Gods, Nodame…  
><em>

Once he'd regained enough control, he turned back to the pouting girl. "You know," he said thoughtfully. "You could have just told me. Then you wouldn't have had to ask this Misaki of yours." And I wouldn't need to feel the urge to thank her right now. And maybe break a few fingers.

Nodame's face scrunched up. "But Nodame has told Chiaki-sempai she likes him many times!" She argued petulantly. "Sempai never listened!"

Well, maybe it was true. He'd always ignored her yapping till now. But now that he'd understood his precious pet could have been snagged away by some other, and felt the void it left in its wake…

"Oh, Megumi," he sighed, "Just what are we going to do with you?"

"Huh?"

He tapped the table thoughtfully. "Now how to go about this in a proper way?"

He leaned down, grabbed her face and kissed the hell out of her. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. Her lips wer softer than he'd imagined and her arms rose to cling around his neck, bringing with them that natural sent of hers he liked so much.

When they parted, Nodame's eyes were at half mast. She looked like a druggie. He admitted liking the look on her when he was the one who caused it.

"N-no," she protested, "Sempai doesn't… play fair." Her breath fell in heavy pants. How like a cute dog. Chiaki loved dogs. Particularly retrievers.

"Well," he allowed. "I guess that was wrong of me. How about we do it your way then?" He held out the bags to her, smiling charmingly. Here was a fool-proof plan.

Nodame spluttered. There was a pink tinge to her cheeks. But she looked happy all the same. He realized she'd been waiting for him forever. He felt something warm inside. Nodame had been _his_ forever.

Leaning down conspiratorially, he whispered in her ear, "Hold that thought. I just remembered I didn't punish you as I would have liked to for disobeying me like that yesterday. And you broke my favorite ballerina too. How are you ever going to repay me, Nodame?" His breath fell in short hot puffs on her skin. He held out the bag to her again. "Let's do it you way. You 'seduce' me and then I'll see about your… repayment." His voice was suggestive and he was damn sure he was leering. Nodame got to him in ways he didn't know how.

She took the bag from him and frowned. "Nodame doesn't see how she needs to seduce Chiaki as Chiaki already seems to… to-" she trailed off shyly.

"Like you." He completed, stroking a hand though her hair as she blushed and looked away. Silky soft. Chiaki plastered an evil smile on his face. "Well, how about, as punishment from me, you go through with this plan?"

_Foolprooooofffff!_

"Or you could just pay for the statuette," he said unconcernedly and named a staggering amount watching as she blanched. No one ever said he played fair.

She was stuck and she knew it. But he really, really wanted to see her in this particular get up.

"Fine," Nodame squeaked out. "I'll do it."

She took the bag from him.

The bag labeled Victoria's secret.

* * *

><p><strong>Here follows M rated scene. I might dissolve into laughter every time I start typing. I have no idea how to write them. And this is kiddie friendly.<strong>

* * *

><p>The morning after, when Chiaki woke up, Nodame was spooned into his side and her warmth was seeping into him. He buried his face in her neck and inhaled. Strands of her shimmering hair tickled his nostrils. Smiling, he tip-toed two fingers down her shoulder and secured her body to his as she began waking up.<p>

"Chi-chiaki-sempai?" She whispered, blushing sleepily. Then-

"CHIAKI SEMPAI IN MY BED GYAABO!" She flailed upright, knocking Chiaki off the tiny bed. He lay there for a few seconds before smirking when her face peered over the edge worriedly. She looked adorably mussed, with her sheet wrapped around her to protect her privacy. How cute was that? Though he'd never admit it aloud.

Life with his golden retriever would never _not_ be fun.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN:_ Cackles. This came to me after watching an episode where the guy on the timpani and Nodame fight it out for Chiaki. Hearing his voice say I love orchestras in the English version really did something to my head. So yeah, and the M rated scene is purely in my head so on one ever will know! Hahaha! Unless Chiaki traps me into telling.**

**Chiaki**: Listen here. You will never tell anyone what Nodame and I do alright? She is mine and I WON'T SHARE. (How he damn well should act since he doesn't deserve Nodame in any way, the jackass. He's always so cold to her!) _

**Author**: Whatever sheesh. Dumb character. As if I want to write about your love life. Or lack of one. :)

**Chiaki**: …-Tries to look menacing but fails as I'm the one writing his lines and I declare he does the mamba with Mine.-

**Mine**: :o

**Nodame**: 0_0 Gyaabo!

**Author**: ;3 Reviewers get love! And oh, thumbs up if you recognized the double purpose Chiaki mentioned. Do pass a review if you have time cuz I'm new to this fandom. Or just do it becuz you can. Want to. Cyber-cookies are involved.


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